Hey! it's been awhile.But today i feel like updating my blog because i don't feel right. I don't feel like my normal self. I feel shitty and i feel like i can break down anytime. Worse,i don't know why am i feeling this way.Maybe it's because tonight i feel extra lonely i guess.SIGH. :( Anyway what i really want to update about is actually about my own personal feelings. I am a fucked up girl,i guess i'm confused with my feelings.I am currently feeling unappreciative and i do not feel contented anymore.At first i thought i was since everything was falling right.But then again,i'm not.Nothing could make me feel contented as for now.Let's get to the point now.Well i think i'm in love ok no. I am not in love actually i guess,i'm unsure about my feelings.It's like when he's around me i am in love with him but when he's not i'm just fine.But there are days when i'm absolutely in love with him,i mean most days are like that but there are also other days where i just want everything to stop and maybe go out with some other different person you know.I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT IS THESE FEELINGS ALL ABOUT? and then there are some days where i'm just tired of this silly thing called "love". Tired of being in love,tired of trying,tired of all the same routine.........................I wish feelings don't exist so i wouldn't feel this way.I wouldn't be confused about myself and all......Like i really don't know what i should do with my life.Argh seriously someone's gotta save me.Maybe i should go counselling?Am i considered a depressed person?sucks to be me sometimes.
Furthermore the reason why my feelings are fucked up is because i know for the fact that i can't feel the same way as how i did before when i was with Muadzam. Because when i was with him i know i gave it my all.I've put soo much effort when i was with him for that 1 year and 2 months.And just like about 7 months after not having him around in my life i've found someone new.But we've only been going out for 3 months and i guess things happened too fast.And i know i can't stay committed as for now.Because my feelings for him can't be measured up the same way as muadzam.That's why everything is just so fucked up.Argh.........But you all get my point.So please,someone just save me from my own misery and explain to me why do i feel this way.Because i really can't figure this out by myself. SAVE ME.
xoxo
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