confusing

Sometimes i just pity myself. I'm sick and tired of always being so sad for all the wrong things especially being so sad about loosing the best. I have a boyfriend now and it's crazy how this can still affect me. I keep trying and trying and every single time i think i moved on,someone tells me about him and i'll just keep crashing back to square 1. It gets so frustrating sometimes,the fact that i'm not happy as i used to be and the fact that the only person that can make me as happy as i was before is him. But i guess the only reason why i still think that he could make me happy is because i'm stuck in this delusional facade of ours. I mean our past. The memory and all. But i guess this is just part and parcel of life,life never said it'll be easy. It never told us that it involves heartaches and pain. These feelings are just compromises of life. Apart from that,i am glad that my boyfriend understands my situation. It's like he deserves the whole of me because i have never met someone so understanding and patient towards me. And the best part about my boyfriend is he never gives up on me no matter how much shit i put him through. I am the luckiest girl on earth and i wish i could just forget everything and just be happy with my boyfriend. That's all i'm asking for now. I just hope things will change and i'll forget the things i'd never wanna remember.